Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving approaching, I am reminded of how grateful I am for my family.  I don't know what I would do without them.  This year has been the toughest year dealing with grief and separation.  I have been so tempted to give up on this life journey.  But I wake up every morning and as long as I'm breathing, I have no choice but the endure.  This is the first Thanksgiving without my mom, and I miss her.  I miss her kindness, her unconditional love, and her listening ears.

I feel like I'm living a nightmare.  I spent the last four years in a miserable marriage.  I should be happy to be getting out, but I feel like I sacrificed so much for it to all fail and feel rather bitter about the bad investment of my time.  Perhaps I stayed in the relationship for a long time because of my own insecurities and fear of having to be self reliant, but here I am having to do it.  I am now on a hunt for my happiness.  I have to figure out who I am again and what makes me happy.  What do I live for?  Is it to gain knowledge?  Help people?  Money?  What is my passion for living?  As of today, I'm not sure what I live for, but I hope I will figure it out soon.