How do you define who you are? Do you know who you are? Who and what is in control of establishing your identity? It is yourself or the opinion of others? Is it your success? If so, how do you define your success?
I remember sitting in a human development class last year when MaryAnn had all the students write down as many things as we could answering "who am I?" in one minute. This was the very first time I noticed that I was very lost... I didn't know who I was aside from the roles I was expected to play in my life--a college student, a daughter, a sister, a roommate, then the list shifted to the a few of my talents. Then the list stopped there. I was stuck. I looked at the list and was disappointed that I seemed like nobody--no one worth remembering anyways.
All my life, I've worked very hard to make myself stand out--to be different. Because to be like everyone else meant having to conform and be nothing more than average. I didn't want to be just another ordinary girl. I wanted to be...unforgettable. For this very reason, I thrived on achievements wherefore the achievement and recognition that came from it determined my worth. If I had been working merely for others' recognition, what happens afterwards after the efforts have been recognized, after an applause on the stage has faded, or after the prize has been won? What then will I strive for? And if the achievements are forgotten or unrecognized, will I still find self worth and remember who I am?
It's daring to be average. It takes a greater courage to accept oneself because, in doing so, we are not only accepting our reality but also accepting a life without glory.
Today, I'm not proud of having talents... It appears grand at times, but I devote myself in developing the talents in hopes that I find my worth and to ensure that I do not get forgotten. For my obituary, if I ever become important enough to have one, I don't want to be remembered for my talents--things that just came easier for me than others because I was born with it. Rather, I want to be remembered for the good qualities I had and how people around me were affected by the existence of me...
I remember sitting in a human development class last year when MaryAnn had all the students write down as many things as we could answering "who am I?" in one minute. This was the very first time I noticed that I was very lost... I didn't know who I was aside from the roles I was expected to play in my life--a college student, a daughter, a sister, a roommate, then the list shifted to the a few of my talents. Then the list stopped there. I was stuck. I looked at the list and was disappointed that I seemed like nobody--no one worth remembering anyways.
All my life, I've worked very hard to make myself stand out--to be different. Because to be like everyone else meant having to conform and be nothing more than average. I didn't want to be just another ordinary girl. I wanted to be...unforgettable. For this very reason, I thrived on achievements wherefore the achievement and recognition that came from it determined my worth. If I had been working merely for others' recognition, what happens afterwards after the efforts have been recognized, after an applause on the stage has faded, or after the prize has been won? What then will I strive for? And if the achievements are forgotten or unrecognized, will I still find self worth and remember who I am?
It's daring to be average. It takes a greater courage to accept oneself because, in doing so, we are not only accepting our reality but also accepting a life without glory.
Today, I'm not proud of having talents... It appears grand at times, but I devote myself in developing the talents in hopes that I find my worth and to ensure that I do not get forgotten. For my obituary, if I ever become important enough to have one, I don't want to be remembered for my talents--things that just came easier for me than others because I was born with it. Rather, I want to be remembered for the good qualities I had and how people around me were affected by the existence of me...
"What mankind wants is not talent; it is purpose." Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
1 comment:
"Who am I?". What a sad depressing question... Did you suddenly have too much time? Thinking philosophy suddenly? ;)
I think talent has the ability to accentuates one's inner "good qualities" and "affect" people around you to appreciate life. Regardless of why you pursue your talents, I think the society is better off because of your talents. People don't know if you do it for glory or not, they just gain better appreciation of life because one's talent provides beauty that they themselves cannot produce.
So, I would like to see how your beautiful talents brought joy to many lives in your obituary, and how that magnified your "good qualities". ;)
Best wished to your new year!
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