Far From the Madding Crowd

Back in the Victorian times, we have novels and stories that tell us that a girl was introduced in the society once she grew out of being a child.  Once she was introduced in a ball, she was now in the market for marriage.  She was to be careful with the suitors she lured and kept in her company.  How proper one must behave when every exchange meant a huge ordeal such as a subtle movement, gesture, and anything that was uttered.  All of these things played a factor in who one ultimately ended up with in marriage.  A man might see a girl he desires and likes, and he then had to make his intentions known.  People in general had to be decisive--for indecision would cost us the chance to ever see them again.

I am glad to be in a society that is much more forgiving and acceptable to different circumstances prior to marriage.  We are free to date as long as we would like without the judgmental looks from others although we may get questions from our own parents who wants grandchildren.  At the same time, the acceptability has also made waiting for marriage out of style.  As I have been dating online, it is one of the main questions I get asked.  "Do you really expect to wait until marriage?"  These are the times I wish I was born in the Victorian times.  I would not be ridiculed for holding onto the old fashioned traditions.  Some have gone as far as saying, "You are not even a virgin.  How could you demand that?"  Decent men at least will say, "That is a worthy goal.  I hope you find him."

As I was watching the movie, it dawned on me that maybe it's not that I want someone who just puts me on a pedestal and lets me do whatever I want.  I secretly desire to be tamed to be someone magnificent by a righteous man who will walk beside me.  He will guide me, love me, and sometimes may experience disappointments.  In the end, he believes and lets me come back because he gives me the space to contemplate and hopefully make righteous decisions on my own.