Since I've moved into the new house, I have one bedroom that was turned into the storage room. I have already spent many hours sorting, but but I can't seem to get it to look like a room... While I was going through piles of old pictures, I noticed that I also kept a note from a boy I once liked. He had gotten me flowers for the valentine's day my freshman year of college. It was probably the only valentine's day of my single life that I ever got anything considering I had never had a significant other on holidays and my birthdays--this has thankfully changed when I met my hubby. I can't believe I kept it all these years... It must have been important to me then. I of course tossed it away as it was another item that was cluttering my current space. It probably would have been kept and made into a cute page had I been into scrapbooking 7 years ago. The way I see it, it's a good thing I have no desire to scrapbook. If I was obsessed with it, nothing (ticket subs, letters, notes, cards, etc...) would ever get tossed away. I already struggle as it is to keep a clutter-free home. It's so hard!
On another thought, why is it signiticantly more difficult to throw away pictures? I feel like it's a sin to throw away pictures with people you know in it. I know, tell me about it. That's seriously every single picture in my pile.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It's been a long time...
It's been more than a year since I tried writing for myself. It's strange that listening to music would inspire me to reach deep inside and try to put my life in writing.
I would say that I've had one of greater growing experiences this past couple of years with many changes in my life. I got married, graduated from college, experienced joy and sadness seeing my extended family in Korea that I had not seen for over 12 years, lived with my in-laws for one summer, made a 2,000-mile move to Richmond from Utah, tried working in retail management, worked with children with disabilities, then built my own violin studio from nothing. Somewhere along the journey, I would say I got lost--I didn't know exactly how to be me and catch up with my rapidly changing life. I had really high hopes for myself, so I never expected to struggle finding the perfect job after college in the field that I spent 5 years studying. I never thought that I would be that girl--feeling bored and empty. After all, I married the man of my dreams. Even if you have a best friend by your side, you occasionally experience the most lonely times with him looking sweetly into your eyes.
You see, nothing in life prepares you to deal with disappointments. All though school, you are taught to dream big, but you are not taught how to get back up when your dreams are shattered. Then there is the rest of the world that tells you that you're not good enough. How could I not see then that it was good enough as long as I was making a progress?
Some may say that my life appears to be easy and great. I would have to agree that there is no physical discomfort for which I am very grateful for. I have also noticed that when things seem easy that it's hard to feel anything because there is no sense of accomplishment nor sense of agony that reminds you that you are alive. To me, these are the most scary times because the lack of motivation, feelings of apathy, and boredom take over and paralyze me.
I am so grateful that the Lord knows me really well. Just when I feel that there is nothing left in me to feel, he blesses me with opportunities to feel alive again. Sometimes, it comes through a form of an unexpected friendship, job opportunities, an inspiration that guides me to make my dreams a reality, or a change of heart. It's strange that all of those things reach me through a form of an art...
I would say that I've had one of greater growing experiences this past couple of years with many changes in my life. I got married, graduated from college, experienced joy and sadness seeing my extended family in Korea that I had not seen for over 12 years, lived with my in-laws for one summer, made a 2,000-mile move to Richmond from Utah, tried working in retail management, worked with children with disabilities, then built my own violin studio from nothing. Somewhere along the journey, I would say I got lost--I didn't know exactly how to be me and catch up with my rapidly changing life. I had really high hopes for myself, so I never expected to struggle finding the perfect job after college in the field that I spent 5 years studying. I never thought that I would be that girl--feeling bored and empty. After all, I married the man of my dreams. Even if you have a best friend by your side, you occasionally experience the most lonely times with him looking sweetly into your eyes.
You see, nothing in life prepares you to deal with disappointments. All though school, you are taught to dream big, but you are not taught how to get back up when your dreams are shattered. Then there is the rest of the world that tells you that you're not good enough. How could I not see then that it was good enough as long as I was making a progress?
Some may say that my life appears to be easy and great. I would have to agree that there is no physical discomfort for which I am very grateful for. I have also noticed that when things seem easy that it's hard to feel anything because there is no sense of accomplishment nor sense of agony that reminds you that you are alive. To me, these are the most scary times because the lack of motivation, feelings of apathy, and boredom take over and paralyze me.
I am so grateful that the Lord knows me really well. Just when I feel that there is nothing left in me to feel, he blesses me with opportunities to feel alive again. Sometimes, it comes through a form of an unexpected friendship, job opportunities, an inspiration that guides me to make my dreams a reality, or a change of heart. It's strange that all of those things reach me through a form of an art...
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